FOOD
 
Let’s Have a Pizza Party!
 
A do-it-yourself pizza party is an easy, fun way to feed a large group of hungry adults, teenagers, or kids a meal they’ll love, with a minimum of work and expense on your part.
The recipes below make eight generous individual-serving pizzas. Double the recipes and you’ll have enough food for sixteen people!
Most of the preparation can be done in advance, thus giving you more time to spend with your guests.
Perhaps best of all, everyone gets their pizza made exactly the way they like, for each person decorates a personal pizza with his or her favorite toppings.
 
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COMMENTARY
 
Names
 
Names are like opinions. Everyone has several, except for such personages as former president of Indonesia Suharto and Cher, who suffice with just one name apiece.
 
I never paid much attention to the name Kevin until recently. In fact, I can’t recall ever hearing of anyone named Kevin until just a couple of years ago.
 
All of a sudden, every third person I met was named Kevin. My ophthalmologist. The teenager who bags groceries at the neighborhood supermarket. The salesman in the men’s department at Neiman Marcus. The guy who comes to my house once a month to spray for bugs. It seemed that the world was suddenly infested with Kevins.
 
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OBSERVATION
 
Is America Dying?
 
At the end of 1997 Bill Clinton was president of the United States. Despite (or perhaps because of) his numerous peccadillos, Clinton was well-liked by foreign heads of state, and America had the respect (or at least the awe) of most other nations.
 
Our economy was basically good during the Clinton administration. The federal budget deficit for the fiscal year that ended on September 30, 1997 was just $22.6 billion, the lowest it had been since Gerald Ford was president. That meant the federal government was able to pay its bills with minimal borrowing.
 
But there were storm warnings on the horizon. Federal spending was rapidly rising, and it was obvious that Big Government was getting bigger by the day.
 
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OPINION
 
Are Walmart’s TV Commercials Truthful?
 
Walmart’s TV commercials state that if you spend $100 per week on groceries you can save $700 per year by shopping at Walmart. That seems like a huge savings. Can they possibly be correct? Or is their statement just advertising puffery?
 
Once again I’m stuck in a quagmire about something I don’t understand. I don’t understand people who try to impose their religious and moral values and other prejudices and opinions on others.
 
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NOVELETTE
 
Billy Jeff—a modern fable
 
Some people maintain that genetics are more important than environment in developing one’s personality. However, the more lucid school of thought recognizes that the sum of a person’s life experiences, both good and bad, is the primary driving force behind what an individual will do given a specific set of circumstances.
 
Enough time has passed since the impeachment so that we can now look objectively at the plethora of factors that made Billy Jeff the man he is today. Had we experienced similar events in our own formative years, who is to say that we would not have acted in precisely the same manner as Billy Jeff?
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OPINION
 
The Inconvenient Truth About "Race"
 
The media refers to Barack Obama—who has a dual heritage—as being black. Yet, it’s equally logical to refer to him as being white.
 
The infamous one drop rule—created by white racists to rationalize slavery—holds that a person with even the slightest trace of sub-Saharan ancestry cannot be considered white. Yet, the skin color of many people dubbed “black” is much lighter than that of some so-called “white” people who hail from India, Morocco, and Mexico.
 
Let’s do away with the designation black altogether. Though common during the heyday of the Black Power movement, it’s no longer fashionable.
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SHORT STORY
 
The 614th Seed
 
It was a late on a chilly afternoon in November, the sun hanging low on the horizon—almost six months to the day before Sheldon’s bar mitzvah. Perhaps because of his enthusiasm for the forthcoming religious and social event, at that point in his young life Sheldon was still more engrossed with matters Jewish than he was with girls, cars, computer games, and basketball.
 
Morris Rosen, Sheldon’s father, suspected—with some trepidation—that a major shift in interests might come all-too-soon after the big celebration. Morris was a third-generation American; the family name had been shortened from Rosenberg when his grandfather entered the country through the Port of New York at Ellis Island.
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TECHNOLOGY
 
Tune Up Your Computer
 
Just as your car runs better when it’s properly maintained, so does your computer. You’ll be amazed at how fast and trouble-free your computer will be if you take just a few minutes once or twice a month to clean out the junk that accumulates on your hard drive and makes your computer run sluggishly.
 
You don’t need to hire an expert to maintain your computer nor do you have to be a computer technician yourself. There are many excellent maintenance programs available that are free, easy to download and easy to use. Once you've installed them on your computer, run the programs whenever it’s convenient and your computer will stay in tip-top shape.
 
The trick is knowing which programs to download and run. There are many maintenance programs on the market that are costly, do little good, and may even cause problems. Others are outright scams and can turn your computer into a relay station for spammers. Don’t worry. All the programs I’ll tell you about are from reliable, reputable companies, and most of them are free.
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FEATURES
 
 
My mother always criticizes my weight. How can I get her to be more respectful?
 
You didn’t say whether momsy is dissing you because you’re too skinny or too fat.
 
But since we all know that nobody can be too thin—just take a look at Barack Obama—I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re somewhat on the heavy side.
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